There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
