Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize