i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
NoShamevember. You game?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
