don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
