Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Porn is love you can see.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
