Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
