That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
