whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
