god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
