I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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