the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
