I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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