so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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