i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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