Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Mom said you looked used
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
