More tranny stories later!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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