I just threw up on my dentist
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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