my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
