Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Four minutes until I can fart!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize