and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry about my life...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
