what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
