margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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