i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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