she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
