she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You are the jesus of drinking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
