fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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