I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
