I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
