I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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