You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
