He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
