Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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