Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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