hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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