So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
