sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
