in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Pooping to opera.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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