Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
