I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
