is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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