can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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