There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
