11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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