I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
