Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.