Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
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This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??