I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
