please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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