Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
