Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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