I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
