i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
