So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
