no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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