I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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