you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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