I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
