We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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