What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Two words: nipple clamps
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