she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
